If you watch or play sports, you know that benching means keeping a player off the field or court as a back-up option, in case your first or second choice of player is unable to play.
One of the classic signs of benching is that the person will be inconsistent in their contact, communication, and efforts to make plans with you
If the person you are dating is vague about their next contact with you, their upcoming schedule, and their level of interest in seeing you again, then it’s possible you’re being benched, says de Llano
– . Their behavior can leave you feeling uncertain of their interest and motives.
– When the person does reach out, they may try to make plans with you at the last minute, usually because something else has fallen through and they have a gap in their schedule they want to fill.
The person may engage in casual sex with you, either regularly or occasionally, without any hint of emotional commitment.
The person may use you as a source of emotional support when they’re going through something difficult and need comfort.
This can be an important ritual even if you live together and eat dinner together every day, because seeing your partner as a date and not just a roommate can help keep the spark alive in your relationship.
Your interest, communication, and interactions with the person can feel one-sided.
– Aim to take one or two trips together every year. Plan your vacation days accordingly and look for new destinations that you can explore together.