Dealing With a Partner Who Doesn't Want Change

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It is important to find ways to address the issues with your partner and explore options that can help you cope and plan your next steps.

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Issues That Damage a Relationship

– Doesn't make time for the children or you – Emotionally or physically abusive – Frequently unfaithful – Gambling

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How to Respond

If your relationship is suffering, it is essential to start taking steps if you want to prevent an unhappy relationship from taking a toll on your mental well-being.

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Sometimes, adjusting your own response to your partner's behavior can shift the conversation in ways that are helpful.

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Know Yourself

Consider individual counseling to prevent feeling depressed or helpless, to understand your role in the conflict in your relationship, and to clarify your plans for your future.1

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Face The Issues

Don't postpone having a conversation with your partner. Instead, try to identify the behaviors that are creating problems in your relationship

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Strategies for Difficult Conversations

Be careful to limit the discussion to only one or two items requiring consideration of change and avoid having a laundry list of grievances.

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– Talk about what you want in your relationship, not about what you don't want. Explain what makes you both happy and fulfilled.

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If They Agree to Try

You might find it helpful to offer your partner ways to support behaviors that would help them achieve a long-term change

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Should You End the Relationship?

Ending a relationship may be necessary if the issue is a major deal-breaker for you that goes against your values or needs in the relationship

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Does Taking a Break in a Relationship Work?