How Attachment Styles Affect Adult Relationships

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Struggling with relationship problems? The cause may be the attachment style you developed with your primary caregiver as an infant. Here’s how to recognize insecure attachment and build stronger, healthier connections.    

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What is attachment?

Attachment, or the attachment bond, is the emotional connection you formed as an infant with your primary caregiver—probably your mother

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If your primary caretaker made you feel safe and understood as an infant, if they were able to respond to your cries and accurately interpret your

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What is a healthy relationship?

If you experienced confusing, frightening, or inconsistent emotional communication during infancy, though, if your caregiver was unable to consistently comfort you or respond to your needs

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Attachment styles and how they shape adult relationships

Attachment styles or types are characterized by the behavior exhibited within a relationship, especially when that relationship is threatened

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Expectations about dating and finding love

When we start looking for a long-term partner or enter into a romantic relationship, many of us do so with a predetermined set of (often unrealistic) expectations

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Consider what's really important

Distinguish between what you want and what you need in a partner. Wants are negotiable, needs are not.

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– Curious rather than extremely intelligent. Curious people tend to grow smarter over time, while those who are bright may languish intellectually if they lack curiosity.

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What feels right to you?

When looking for lasting love, forget what looks right, forget what you think should be right, and forget what your friends, parents, or other people think is right, and ask yourself: Does the relationship feel right to me?

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