Stonewalling involves refusing to communicate with another person and withdrawing from the conversation to create distance between the individual and their partner
– Ignoring what the other person is saying – Changing the subject to avoid an uncomfortable topic – Storming off without a word
Many times, stonewalling in a relationship is obvious. However, it also can be subtle and you may not realize that you or your partner are engaging
For the person who is being stonewalled, it is normal to feel frustrated, angry, confused, and hurt. It can have a damaging impact on a person's
– eneralized avoidance of conflict (emotional passivity) – Desire to reduce tension in an emotionally-charged situation – Genuine belief that they "cannot handle" a certain topic
Stonewalling is oftentimes a tactic learned during childhood. It may have been a behavior their parents used to "keep the peace" or to gain dominance in the family hierarchy.
There are a few different ways that stonewalling might appear in a relationship. These include:
Sometimes stonewalling is a learned response that partners use to cope with difficult or emotional issues.
In extreme cases, stonewalling is used to manipulate a situation, maintain control in the relationship, or inflict punishment.