A cycle of blame in a relationship occurs when one person places the blame for whatever has gone wrong onto their partner, and makes that blame the focus of their complaint or a conflict
In order to have healthy relationships, we first need to be able to relate positively to ourselves. For example, studies have shown that self-compassion
The blame game often starts with triggers that are self-reflexive. In other words, we end up projecting onto our partner the very things we are insecure about ourselves
Additionally, the person being blamed is unlikely to behave and communicate in the manner they wish to, because they are operating
But if you're going to be blamed for wanting change, you're unlikely to do that. Open communication is a key component of a healthy long term relationship,2 and the blame cycle can prevent it from happening.
The longer the blame cycle continues for, the harder it may be for someone who has distanced themself to feel close to their partner(s) again.
Someone who threatens to hurt themselves should seek counseling from a mental healthcare professional.
Although you and your partner may be dealing with their condescending behavior, you still have to take care of yourself
A person who wants to control you might try to cut off your contact with friends and family, especially if any of your loved ones express a dislike or distrust of the emotionally manipulative person.7
Your partner might try to alienate you from your support system, causing you to doubt your decision to move on from the relationship.