What Your Conflict Resolution Style Says About You and Is It Healthy?

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The Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Instrument (TKI), one of the most widely-used models of conflict management, identifies five conflict resolution styles: competing, avoiding, collaborating, accommodating, and compromising.

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The Five Conflict Resolution Styles

The five conflict resolution styles described by the TKI are positioned along a spectrum of cooperativeness and assertiveness.

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Competing

This style approaches the conflict as if it’s a battle of wills where one person will win and one will lose.

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Avoiding

This style tries to pretend the conflict doesn’t exist. Avoidance is usually done out of fear that the conflict could hurt or even end the relationship

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Collaborating

A collaborating couple treats conflicts as an “us versus the problem” situation. Rather than competing against each other

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Accommodating

One partner chooses to neglect their own needs or concerns for the sake of keeping the peace. For relatively small issues, like where to go for dinner, that might be fine

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Compromising

One partner chooses to neglect their own needs or concerns for the sake of keeping the peace. For relatively small issues, like where to go for dinner, that might be fine

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How to Determine Your Conflict Resolution Style

To figure out which style you tend to use in conflicts, it helps to see each one in a real-world context.

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